i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
