I just cut my nipple shaving
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
