I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
