he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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