Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
