We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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