i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
