i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
