my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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