You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
