I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
