Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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