this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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