So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
