Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
