Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
