Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
