Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
