I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
