I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
