dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
