escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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