i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
