Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize