That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize