I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize