Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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