I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
