I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize