just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
