Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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