Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
