Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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