I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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