i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
