His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
