So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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