Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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