Yo dont text me then not text me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
