His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize