It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
