So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
