worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
