All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
