I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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