She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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