I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
bring money and cleavage
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
