Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
