he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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