He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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