dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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