I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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