why didn't you poke me back
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
