There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
