its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
