I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
