Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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