All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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