you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
