She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize