wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
