If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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