Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
