Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sarcasm needs its own font
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize