but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
