I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is Oprah even human
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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