what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
