i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
