Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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