What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
