she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
