Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
