Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Randomize
