So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My vagina is very pro this idea
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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