Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
