Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize