Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize