the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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